Hullaballoo

After a year on the market, my former matrimonial home is now sold, and at a very good price. It's been hard to write about because I don't feel the anticipated excitement and relief, just emptiness after a long hard struggle with buyers who imposed ludicrous clauses and offered way under the odds, because they could. It's the end of an era and in six weeks the boys will have a another big change, when they have to move house with their dad. Despite my numbness, I am off to celebrate with my oldest friend, then it's on to a dance and contact improvisation workshop for some creative fun.

This week, I have noticed my anxiety about swine flu rise, along with many others. I put it into perspective, when I nearly got run over crossing the road and decided that I was more likely to die from something like that than from swine flu. It's a tricky balance though, between being properly prepared and ridiculously paranoid.

I have said goodbye to my therapist of 5 years and my supervisor of 6 years, as my personal journey takes me in new and enticing directions. It's hard to leave the known, the comfy, the easy but now I need more challenge and depth.

On Thursday I took the boys to the beach on the train. What seemed like a romantic idea, went steadily downhill, as their attention span got less and less and I ran out of ways of occupying them on the train. YS has now learned not to ask the skin headed guard who had 50% tattoos on his body why he had them and I have just got over the nervous twitch in my right eye which came on before we managed to reach the beach.

Bobo is away for the whole weekend and the boys are going on holiday with their dad. Two weeks of full on activity have now come to a complete halt and it is a real shock to my system. The other night, I huddled in a doorway with 4 other people during a thunder storm and enjoyed the cameraderie of looking out at the extreme weather and taking shelter together. I felt a bit sad when we had to leave.